The first holidays together as newlyweds usually become a time when spouses are trying to carry on family traditions prior to marriage and not hurt anyone’s feelings.  Lynda Jungkind reminisced on her first Thanksgiving with Johnny and said:

“When I celebrated my first Thanksgiving with Johnny we had only been married for about two months. We went back to Little Rock for Thanksgiving with our families. We wanted to have dinner with each of our families to keep both of our traditions alive.”

“We thought, ‘No sweat,’ and that it would be easy because my family always does Thanksgiving for lunch and his family does Thanksgiving for dinner. Both families like to cook and eat, so there was a lot of food. First we went to my family’s home to have Thanksgiving meal for lunch and to visit; it was a lovely meal. Then we went to Johnny’s family’s home for Thanksgiving dinner for a round two. His family’s meal was lovely with homemade yeast rolls and all the delicious home cooked holiday food.  Since we had meals at both homes, our goal was not to overeat throughout the day.  Easier said than done when both families want you take a bite of treasured family dishes.  Afterwards we were so miserable from overeating.”

“After Thanksgiving I told Johnny, ‘We have to start something new. We are going to alternate years when we are going to have Thanksgiving with each family, so that we don’t hurt anyone’s feelings.’”

• Clearly communicate your desire to have a new, manageable approach to the holiday season with your families.

Open communication between newlyweds and extended families creates the opportunity for a pleasant holiday season. Reach out to the extended family as soon as each spouse has decided their holiday approach.

“Our second year was great, because we started our own tradition where we would alternate years. We told our families that we love them and they understood that we couldn’t eat two Thanksgiving meals on the same day. We would visit the family that we didn’t eat a Thanksgiving meal with and have dessert,” Jungkind said.

• Celebrate past traditions and craft new traditions.

A husband and wife bring into their marriage the gift of childhood traditions celebrated during the holidays. It is important that each spouse respects and embraces some of those traditions, but establishing new traditions as a couple are important for creating unity.

“When you get married, you have to create your own traditions. Just because you’ve had a certain tradition as a child growing up, doesn’t mean that you are going to continue doing that certain tradition with your husband.  As a couple you are creating your own traditions and your own home with your spouse. When kids come along, you will create new traditions with them,” Jungkind stated.

• Flexibility and festive go hand-in-hand.

“A husband and wife have to learn to be flexible. The parents, the in-laws and outlaws, have to learn to be flexible too. Holidays are a stressful time to begin with and you don’t need that added stress of worrying about your family’s feelings. Learning to get along with people is always important,” Jungkind added.

• Remember “Thanks” in Thanksgiving.

Beyond the food, fellowship, and tinsel take time this Thanksgiving to embrace the gift of family, friendship, and life that has generously been bestowed upon us all.

Would you like to see more ideas for newlyweds? Check out out blog on cooking as newlyweds or more ideas here!