These days, many couples who get married come from different ethnic, cultural, social and religious backgrounds. Incorporating these differences into your wedding ceremony can both celebrate your individualism and personality as a couple.
Bride-to-be Randi G. wrote in recently and asked “I would like to incorporate my family’s Irish history, but would also like to include my fiancé’s Air Force involvement. The two themes don’t seem to flow together. Also, he’s Jewish and would like to include some of those traditions. I feel like it’s too much, and I am nervous my guests will be confused.”
Well, thousands of books have been written on incorporating cultural, religious and other – such as military – traditions into your wedding day. While we certainly don’t have the room to go into specific wedding traditions here, I do want to touch on Randi’s great question: how do you effectively incorporate more than one “theme?” Here are five key tips on how to do this successfully:
- Focus on just one or two ‘big elements’ each at the ceremony and reception.
For example, if you have your heart set on having a military arch with sabers at your ceremony, it’s probably best not to also include an Irish bagpiper at the same time, playing backup to a singer singing traditional Jewish wedding songs. Focus on what is most important to you and your fiancé, and your families, and keep the more prominent thematic elements to a minimum.
- Express yourself in the details.
Of course, in the wedding day details, you can express all of your themes to your heart’s content. For example, Randi writes, “he is wearing his Air Force Blues and my gown is cream, my nieces are wearing cream dresses with Air Force blue sashes, and my nephew is wearing an Air Force blue suit with an official Air Force flight pin rather than a boutonniere. I’d like to use my Celtic champagne flutes, my Celtic unity candle set, and give seed packets as a favor, which is an Irish tradition.”
All of these details are wonderful ways to subtly incorporate your themes…and doing all of these won’t be “too much.” To be perfectly honest, most of the guests wouldn’t even notice that it’s specifically an “Air Force blue” sash on the flower girl’s dress – other than to briefly note that it goes so nicely with the groom’s attire. And most people wouldn’t notice the Celtic champagne flutes – but the newly married couple will as they toast each other – and that is what’s important. So use details like these to further express your own personal themes.
- Find common ground between your cultures and traditions.
Take advantage of the things in both your backgrounds that are similar. Things like the breaking of a wine glass after the “I dos” – it’s both a Jewish and Italian custom. And – the canopy over an Indian ceremony (a mandap) looks quite similar to a Jewish chuppa.
You can also combine your menus from both backgrounds. Fusion cuisine is quite popular – probably for this very reason! So, go ahead and make a trendy menu all the while demonstrating how well your two cultures compliment each other.
- Use your ceremony program to inform your guests, if needed.
The ceremony program is a great place to explain and describe any unique wedding customs and traditions that you plan to include. For example, while most non-Jewish guests are familiar with the breaking of the glass tradition, a brief explanation of what that ceremonial aspect signifies would be a very nice touch, and the ceremony program is the perfect place to do it.
- Communicate with everyone involved!
This is really a key tip for anyone, for any wedding – but it becomes even more important when very deeply rooted traditions or strong cultural influences are involved. If you are mixing a very religious, Jewish, future mother-in-law, with a very proud and patriotic Air Force groom, with a bride who strongly identifies with – and loves – her Irish heritage, you had better plan on having a few serious family ‘pow wows’ to jointly craft a wedding day that meets everyone’s needs! Be open-minded, flexible and sensitive.
- Ultimately, it’s your wedding!
Really, it’s your day, so whatever you want to do, find a way to do it! Of course, “yours” meaning not just you, the bride, but “yours” as in you, your groom and your immediate families. If you really want the military arch AND the bagpiper, then have the arch at the wedding ceremony, and the bagpiper the reception site, announcing the arrival of the newlyweds.
A wedding celebration is really a way of announcing to the world that “these two unique individuals are joining together, and creating a new family.” So be unique, and share it with the world!
The Winter/Spring issue of Premier Bride of Mississippi is out and throughout the state of Mississippi. Best of all, it’s free! You can pick one up at any one of our advertisers or go online to http://www.premierbridems.com/wedding-free-copy-of-premier-bride and find a wedding professional near you that has the latest copy! Or view our Winter/Spring issue online here.