You’re engaged! Congratulations! The first question you’ll receive from anyone with a pulse: When is the wedding? The second: Where is the wedding?
As a bride-to-be, you will be the recipient of a lot of advice; this is a given. But many will not warn you that, aside from The Dress, the where-to-marry determines most of your big decisions, and sets the tone for the entire event.
If you think about it, every wedding is a destination wedding. Whether you’re having yours in an obscure Malbec vineyard in Argentina or in your mama’s backyard, someone will be getting on a plane and/or driving in a rental car to make sure they are a part of your Big Day.
A wedding is a big memory. It will reside with you and your voluminous wedding album for years to come. Destination weddings reveal not only your unique tastes and preferences, but also your attention to detail and originality in creating special memories for your guests.
Where you exchange vows reveals what is important to you and your spouse. Respect for tradition? Spirit of adventure? Romance? Nostalgia? Whether it’s the place you two met, your family’s summer lake house, or island getaway you’ve both always wanted to experience, the location should speak to who you are as individuals and as a couple.
If you follow these four fast and sure guidelines, then your Destination Wedding is sure to be a big hit.
1. Select a Meaningful Spot. Sounds obvious, but so many people don’t consider this the crucial destination wedding deal-breaker decision that it is. You’ll be explaining the why behind the where you were married for the rest of your life. Do you really want to tell your future children and friends that you chose some random place to tie the knot because the hotel could accommodate multiple buffet stations? Make sure there is a good “why here” story behind your destination location choice.
2. Have your ever-so-perfect patch of heaven on earth picked out? Good. Now think about your Favorite Time of Year to Visit. It doesn’t have to be everyone else’s favorite time of year. It just has to be your favorite time to be there. Not everyone needs to ski: the mountains in the summer are just as beautiful. If your heart is singing for love in a mosquito-infested swamp along the Louisiana Bayou in August, don’t worry: guests will wear mosquito nets. Love the place you choose, and choose the time of year that you love it the most.
Yes, it’s polite to consider when people can take off from work; but again, this goes back to you and how you want to create this special day. Loved ones will find a way to join you.
3. After you’ve chosen your dream spot during your favorite season, get to know that place like the back of your hand. It’s time to Become a Native. Get to know it as well as you can. Know the hot restaurants to hit. Memorize the day-to-day weather during the time of your wedding. Become familiar with the best the area has to offer in that particular season. A way to make this research fun is to include your spouse and your family in the process. It’s a great bonding experience!
Because you’ve been so smart to have already chosen a great place during your favorite season, researching tourist activities in the area may not take too much effort. For example, if you chose a mountaintop in Sewanee, Tennessee, to exchange vows, and you spent your childhood summers there, I’m sure you can check off the three best (and only) restaurants in a 10-mile radius. Learn also about the possible side excursions and activities, so guests can pack as many novel experiences into their mini-vacation as possible, from skeet shooting to celebrity spotting to spelunking.
4. Now that you’ve become a certified Destination Wedding Tour Guide, you’ll want to Share your Wealth of Information with Guests (see above). Be prepared to own up to why you picked this particular place as the destination, especially to those who have never visited. Tell them a story. Make them want to come and share this happy time in your lives. I’m sure you already have your wedding website domain set up, right? The Knot, The Wedding Channel and eWeddings all have basic, easy-to-use websites where you can provide the wedding intel for all the guests. You’ll definitely need to include maps of the town and the hotel, directions via plane/train/car, but you’ll also need to share many fun and exciting details to get the wedding party fired up. Be sure and check with the local Welcome Centers for free, local info and extras for the goodie bags.
A Destination Wedding is an excuse for a mini-vacation. Provide unique, relaxing and energizing activities for all of your guests. Knowing they are having fun will keep you calm and composed for the ceremony. Some might even stay a day later or come a day earlier—help make the most of their little holiday and this special time that matters so much to you.
Rest assured that no other decision (except for The Dress, The Dress!) will be as important as the ones you’ve just made. Many fun (and some not-so-fun) decisions lie ahead of you: the color of the bridesmaids dresses, your bouquet arrangements, who sits next to your Great Aunt Fran at the rehearsal dinner, and they all hinge on the Where and When of a Destination Wedding. So take your time, choose well and your Big Day will play out with a happy ending. The rest is smooth sailing!
Meredith Mann Dawson’s Destination Wedding was held in New York City on December 1, 2007. She is a Manhattan-based freelance illustrator and graphic designer who grew up in Jackson, Mississippi. Her latest book is The Hip Girls’ Guide to Homemaking by Kate Payne, published by HarperCollins Design, 2012.